The danger of unfulfilling work…
Written on March 7, 2008
My current job is only part time, and is not related in any way to my chosen field of Information Technology. (IT) I don’t really care for the work that I do, as it is mind numbingly boring. The only challenges are physical, so the only benefit of the job is a good workout.
When I first started this part time job about a year ago, I didn’t really want to. What I really wanted was to work harder on my web site, and also to find a decent, fairly paid job in IT that wouldn’t leave me exhausted after each day. (I have had several interviews last year, and two so far this year, but no offers yet.) But I took the job anyway, in spite of my reluctance, in the name of “responsibility”. The hourly rate was fair, (it was better than my previous IT jobs) and it felt good to bring home money that I had earned, as opposed to just sitting around collecting unemployment insurance.
I was hoping that my web site would “take off” and become a decent source of income, so I could quit the job. When I realized that my web site would not “take off” as quickly as I had hoped, I stepped up my IT job search, being more aggressive in applying to specific companies with good reputations. That too, is taking longer than I had hoped!
As time passed, I grew more and more annoyed with the job. I dreaded going in to work each night. When I was at work, I wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere but there. I became more apathetic towards my work. Eventually my annoyance and apathy slowly turned into a bitter hatred of the job! I still tried to do my best, but because of my feelings toward the job, the quality of my work suffered. My work quality will never be the same as when I first started. My heart was just not in it. I tried to use my free time at work to study and work on my personal projects. It did help me feel better for a bit, but it didn’t last. My disdain for my job was poisoning my work, and everything else as well.
I have only myself to blame. Against my better judgment, I took a job I didn’t really want, a job that, in spite of providing income, would slow down the pursuit of my goals - my dreams. I believe that I would have been better off if I didn’t take this job. However, that fact remains to be seen.
I am still looking for suitable IT work, and still working on my website. I am also learning more and more - which is perhaps the moral of this story: In spite of making bad choices in the past, press on and learn from your mistakes in order to build a better future!
In closing, I leave you with this tidbit of wisdom, a hard lesson taught to me by bitter experience:
“Always think for yourself, and make your own decisions. Never blindly do the bidding of others, nor foolishly follow the advice of the ignorant, but wisely consider the advice of many sages. After you have weighed all of your options, make your own choice independently, free from the interference of others. For free will is man’s greatest gift, and many woes to those who would dare to rob a man of his free will.”
That wasn’t too dramatic, was it? Oh well.
Take care! Until the next blog entry…
Filed in: Main, Self Improvement.
