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AntiBalls Force Character Profiles
Thursday, 03 September 2009
The AntiBalls Force
AntiBalls Force Logo The AntiBalls Force was formed by Master Hammer in response to the threat of the revival of the Geek Gods - horribly powerful demigods who have wreaked havoc in ages past. Master Hammer remembers their reign all too well, and he was a key player in assisting with their downfall. They battle the minions of the Geek Gods to thwart their plans to revive their fallen masters.
Master Hammer
Master Hammer Founder and leader of the AntiBalls Force. Always calm, cool and collected, he effectively leads his team to victory with sound strategy. He is a dwarf of over 1000 years of age, and enjoys traveling to other dimensions such as Hades and Leprechaun Land to vacation. Wields a giant war hammer.
Dick Smasher aka D.Smasher
Dicksmasher Obsessed with his work, a real nut. Bald and bug-eyed, he wields many types of clubs and other blunt objects, and always hits the bad guys where it hurts, then grins maniacally. Ouch! He also keeps an iron glove on his person in case he is disarmed, or for up close and personal situations. He is quite one dimensional and hardly learns from his mistakes…
Long Range
Longrange Long range weapons specialist. Always sports a ridiculous haircut which he considers “cool”. Usually calm and reserved, his love for playing practical jokes seems out of character. This is to his advantage, as few expect his elaborate pranks. A force to be reckoned with on the battlefield, he can hit a bad guy in the family jewels from thirty feet away. Look out!!!
Balz Blaster aka B.Blaster
Ballsblaster Explosives expert, saboteur, and technical support. While not being much of a fighter, his explosives and other inventions provide excellent support to the team on the battlefield. He can sneak up on unsuspecting bad guys and plant explosives on their, um, strategic areas, and detonate them from a safe distance. Also loves throwing around sticks of dynamite on the battlefield, strategically aimed, of course…
Cornelio Joins later on in the story. He is the only person of color on the team, and was only hired to get the EEOC off their backs. At first the team doesn’t think much of him, (racist bastards) but he proves himself over and over again on the battlefield, and actually saves the team on many occasions, eventually (racist bastards) earning their respect. A quirky and wired individual, oblivious to his team’s initial ignorant disdain, he is just ecstatic to have a job he loves. Wields a huge bolt cutter on the battlefield, but not for cutting bolts…
Avenger Rarely seen, she arrives to help only if the AntiBalls Force is in a serious jam. An insanely beautiful woman, wearing insanely tight clothing, her main objective is to distract the enemy – something she does REALLY well. Wields a pair strange weapons called “Chomper Jaw Clamps” to enforce her rule of “Look, but don’t touch.” No one has ever successfully touched her yet…

The Butt Bombers Force
The legendary heroes who defeated the Geek Gods over one thousand years ago. After many long, hard battles, all of the Geek Gods were defeated, except for one – Buttock the Destroyer. He was the most powerful of the Geek Gods. Evidence of his power can be seen even today in places such as Farty Flats Valley, where the odor is so strong, few dare to live there. After a climactic battle which ruined the planet, Buttock the Destroyer was defeated and sealed away for eternity. Unfortunately, only one of the Butt Bombers Force survived to tell the tale. – Ol’ Spike Arse. Curiously, Ol’ Spike Arse still lives to this very day, a wrinkled old man.

Ol’ Spike Arse
Ol' Spikeass Ol' Spike Arse is the only surviving member of the Butt Bombers Force. He is retired, and wants nothing to do with the AntiBalls Force and their cause. He is ridiculously old, as he was already an old man when he fought the Geek Gods one thousand years ago. Long Range tried to get him to join the AntiBalls Force, but received quite the butt whipping instead. Age has not diminished his power in the least...

The Geek Gods
The Geek Gods are a horrible group of demigods with horrible powers. Horrible! They and their minions seek to rule the world with iron fists. The Geek gods were defeated over a thousand years ago by the legendary Butt Bombers Force and Master Hammer. Their minions survived, however, and work tirelessly to revive their fallen masters. Sick bastards.

Testaclese aka Big T.
Testaclese Self proclaimed God of the Balls, and leader of the Geek Gods. Extremely vain and self centered, he is his own biggest worshiper. He is often heard saying,”Oh, my self!” He is quite powerful in battle, as seen when he routs entire armies singlehandedly…
Buttock aka Buttock the Destroyer
Buttock Buttock is easily the most powerful of the Geek Gods. He controls huge volumes of explosive gas which are known to cause explosions on a nuclear scale – all expelled from his huge backside. His weakness is his low intelligence. Because of this weakness, he is easily manipulated by Testaclese and Dictys.
Iron Hair aka Iron H.
Ironhair A strange demigod with a unique ability – explosive pubic hair. Wears specially designed clothing so he can easily access his pubic hair while maintaining a modicum of decency. He is quite dangerous on the battlefield, as entire buildings fall with one thrown handful of hair. Speaks with a strange semi-British accent…
Dictys aka Big.D
Dicktys Dictys is an incredibly perverted and vulgar demigod. He is always competing with Testaclese for the leadership of the Geek Gods, but will work with him when a dire situation calls for it. He is also powerful on the battlefield, with immense speed and strength. Not much more can be said of him, for reason of decency…
Big Bolz aka Big B.
Big Balls An unshaven, muscular brute, he travels all over doing the bidding of the Geek Gods. Fearless and surly, his favorite pastime is tormenting Dick Smasher of the AntiBalls Force. He relishes seeing Dick fail in battle. Keeps an iron cup handy just to thwart Dick’s attacks. From his appearance, he seems like a dim bulb, but is actually quite sharp. Some question whether he has his own agenda…
Dr. Fart
Dr. Fart A mad doctor who is absolutely obsessed with the odors of gases emanating from the nether regions. He worships Buttock and looks forward eagerly to his revival, if only just to study his gases. Has an unoriginal group of henchmen at his command. He has a radio and television show that keeps getting canceled and reinstated because of the strong odors disrupting studio operations. He maintains a secret headquarters and research lab that can only be reached by flushing oneself down a specific toilet…
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