Last year around this time I was working at an unfulfilling job, extremely stressed out, and generally unhappy because of frustrations regarding my career in IT. (For the uninformed, IT stands for Information Technology.) My career wasn’t going where I had hoped it would. The positions I obtained always seemed to turn out somewhat, uhhh, “different” than how they were initially described to me by the employer. (My first paying IT position was a glaring exception, however. It was the best IT job I’ve had!) But now I have a much better understanding as to why I kept getting those crappy, unfulfilling jobs…

It was MY FAULT.

Yes, my fault. Not because of any lack of competence, skill, or experience, or anything along those lines, because frankly, when it comes to IT and Desktop Support, I’m good - really good. My attention to detail (being anal) and desire to be excellent (perfectionist attitude) are what have always set me apart from my peers. “Good enough” is never good enough for me. No, it wasn’t anything like that at all. What was it then, you ask? Okay, I’ll tell you.

It was… my lack of confidence.

It was that lack of confidence that made me desperate for any IT job, and I usually grabbed the first job that was offered to me - even if that job came with a pay cut. I’ve always had a difficult time finding suitable work doing Desktop Support, despite the fact that it is a position that can’t be outsourced to some foreign country. Yes, there are plenty of jobs out there, but the majority that I have seen offer laughable pay packages. Some were just above the minimum wage! At least I absolutely refused to even consider those jobs. I usually never took anything less than $15 per hour. But now, I see that I have been selling myself short - waaaaay short. Now, I look at the big picture - pay, benefits, work environment, company size, etc. Sure, it takes much longer to find suitable work, but when I do find a suitable position, It’ll be one I can stay with for several years.

Since I was let go from my previous job in December of ‘06, I have had a lot of time to think and evaluate myself. I have always wanted to be my own boss - since I was a child, in fact! I started this website to help me achieve that goal - a few days before I got fired too! (Link here) I used my free time not only to work on my site, but also to figure out what I really want to do with my life. I used to want to eventually run an IT department, but no longer. I’ve also wanted to start an IT consulting firm for a few years now, but not any more. Not after the crap I’ve put up with at my previous jobs. I thought that maybe I was just burnt out, and I was, but it was so much more than that. I still enjoy technology and IT, but not like I used to. I just had to remember what I loved most as a child…

As a child, I loved to draw pictures and comics. I loved to make up stories. I loved to have adventures. I loved reading fiction. I loved spending time with my friends. I loved acting out characters of my own creation and having my friends involved in the production. I loved recording the latter. I loved producing electronic gaming videos. I loved making people laugh. I even loved entertaining strangers in public places with magic tricks, even though that love was very short-lived. I loved to daydream about fantastic adventures that weren’t possible in reality. I also loved tinkering with electronics. Don’t forget video games! I loved those too. I still love doing all of those things. The question is, why did I stop doing these things in the first place?

Again - a lack of confidence in myself.

Despite my current long, drawn out job search, and less money coming in, I am thankful for this year’s events. They have helped me to see more of my talents and good qualities. This year’s events and introspection have helped me to boost my confidence even further. For so long, I always thought that I have to keep fighting to be successful. The fact of the matter is, I am already a success. I just want to continue increasing my success. Few people can boast of being where I am today despite a similar difficult past. Many of my childhood friends have spent several years in jail, while I did my best to live in an honest manner and stayed out of trouble. That is definitely a reason for giving thanks.

For my business goals, I now actually intend to start a multimedia production studio which specializes in printed comics, web comics, short stories, art, animation, movies, video games, and maybe even music. This site is the first step towards that goal.

Are you striving for success? Do you think you have yet to attain success? Look hard at your life. Remember all of the obstacles you have overcome, all the lessons you have learned. Remember where you have come from. You are most likely a success who doesn’t even realize it - like I once was.

Wow! It is Thanksgiving day already! It took me longer to type this up than I thought it would! I started typing this blog entry late last night. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I definitely enjoyed writing it.

I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving day, and the long weekend as well! Happy Thanksgiving!

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